I DO know how to keep my life interesting!
(.: Do you really think it is “I” that is doing this?!)
I would say the history I am about to review was triggered in part by my experience of Abounding Love at the FGC Gathering in early July.
(I have heard of several others who have also experienced FGC-related life-changes.)
My personal experience of Love was not all simple and beautiful; some of it morphed into troublesome feelings of lust. As I struggled with these in prayer, I got the message,
Here you are, struggling with another aspect of your ‘needy-greedy,’ your appetites. Stop addressing these one by one. If you open yourself to the christ within, all these contending aspects of yourself can be brought into a harmonious relationship, filled with, & expressing, the Divine.
.: OK… … … …
Before long, I knew I had to report on this to you, my readers, scary as it was (is).
I managed four installments in the month between mid-August and mid September, trying to come to terms with my experience and its implications. In Talking About Christ I offer a grand theory, partly to reassure myself my brain had not turned to pudding, partly to stall for time.
In About Christ, Part 2, I get more personal, sharing my discovery that I have the double assignment of doing the inner work of “let go, let God,” and also finding names for it, that are acceptable to myself and my community.
By the time I got to My Search, My Quest, I felt strong enough to claim that I am doing significant cultural work, at the same time I am doing painful personal work. Is this narcissism? Opinions vary. I did get a wonderfully-supportive comment.
I persevere in believing I am doing my work as a Gaia Troubadour.
Also, I am Drawing the Curtain, on the public display of some of the most personal aspects of my inner struggles.
After all, this is not going to be quick. And there’s lots of other important stuff to talk about, like Atoms are not little things.
It was reassuring, having chosen this direction, to have another Gaia poem flow out of me, Gaia, Great Mother, has many hidden treasures,
and then, to return to the “language-of-christ issue” in Theism & Non-theism, which generated two valuable comments.
Thanks again, for being there. Whether you read this or not, I know you are interested in my life and that, when the time is right, we will re-connect.
Let me say, it feels in this moment, like I am in exactly the right place.